#I am so autism rn don’t look at me it’s 12 am

[timegays]

Saw au because Augh-

(Ignore the broken arm thing on the first pic that’s only supposed to be on the second.)

Skull means they die in the end

Plus post trap injuries 

Elaboration under the cut!!

I should specify that they are not carbon copies of the characters they are based off kinda just. Parodies? You’ll get it.

Mischa-Adam. Young rapper in college just trying to get big. Photographs things he thinks would be cool album covers. Was put in the bathroom trap because he "wasted his time on a fruitless dream.". Head and neck scars are from when he hit his head on the toilet in that one scene. Yea. He also had a scar from getting shot by Noel. He got out alive tho after Noel came back for him.Doesn't work for jigsaw. Goes to Saint cassian college

ocean- strahm. Detective in the saw case. Grumpy and as stressed as strahm. Just graduated college recently. (Saint cassian college. In fact all the kids went to the same college.. Has the same hole in her throat from the water cube trap. Dies the same way as strahm does.

Constance- Perez. Ocean's partner in the saw case. A bit more anxious about jigsaw but not afraid to take action. Scars from when the doll exploded in her face. Was killed by Ricky I just haven't decided what happens yet <•_•>. Noel- Lawrence. Majoring in law because his parents made him. Was put in the bathroom trap because he "always is a tool for other people and never does anything for himself" Got out after cutting off his leg. Karnak made him an apprentice and he helps Karnak not get caught since he knows the law so well.Went back to save Mischa but Mischa doesn't know he's an apprentice. Lives in the end to continue the jigsaw legacy.

Ricky- Hoffman. Shhh lemme explain. Ricky is a college student working on being a writer. He was very interested in the jigsaw killer. After being enraged by someone stealing and publishing all his work without giving him any kind of recognition he took things a bit to far. He put the person into a copycat trap. (What trap? Idk.). Of course Karnak was not please and tested Ricky the same way hoffman was tested (I’m still deciding if it’s the same or diff test). Ricky the starts working for Karnak by helping him set up blueprints, build, and write the tapes. He kills Constance and Virgil. Noel kills him in the end the same way lawrence did to hoffman. Watched over Ezra when penny disappeared. penny/Jane doe.- Amanda. Went to college for some time while watching over her little brother, Ezra. She was put into the reverse bear trap (which also connected to her neck in the au) for supposedly not appreciating her life. After a  severe head injury when getting out of the trap she lost pretty much all her memories. She doesn’t remember anything about herself including Ezra and her name. Karnak took her in and renamed her Jane. She works as an apprentice by helping with getting the victims and keeping the doll instance/setting it up. 

Karnak- the jigsaw killer himself. Was a rollercoaster builder previously. After one of his coasters went awry and crashed, killing the passengers and injuring him. He was ridden with guilt and a new sense of life. He puts people into traps to make them appreciate what life they have left and to not destroy it like he did. Feels he has control over who lives and dies. Gets killed in the end similarly to John. (Haven’t decided the specifics of all that because he doesn’t have cancer but anyways-)

Virgil- Jill. No. Karnak does not marry the rat. I just wanted to include Virgil because I thought it was funny. Was just a rat in the warehouse before Karnak found him. Karnak became attached to him and personified him after being alone for so long in the warehouse. He knows all of jigsaws secrets and everything that happens. Dies in the end to Ricky’s hands because Ricky kinda began to lose it and blamed Virgil for everything that happened to him for some reason.  Ezra- Daniel. Teen who was living with his sister before she disappeared. Doesn’t know what Karnak did to her. Ricky takes care of him now that his sister is gone. Dedicated to finding out what happened to his sister and what the big deal with the jigsaw killer is. Mischa meets him later on and helps him try to figure it all out. He eventually finds out Penny is alive but she can’t take care of him anymore and barley even remembers him. He now lives with Mischa for the time being.

[my-autistic-things]

hey! omg i'm so happy I found your post / responce on your diagnosis for autism. i've thought i'm on the spectrum for a while now, i'm diagnosed with ADHD and have always had 'compulsions' that don't fit the criteria of OCD but that dr's have always put under that category UNTIL I read your post. okay I have NEVER had someone mention needing to feel stimuli on both sides of ur body ... "the gotta do the same thing on each side thing that’s super common apparently"as you put it ... (pt 1)

but when I read that today, idek how to describe it. ive honestly never met someone who has that urge and never been able to explain or understand why I do. thnk u so much for sharing that, it seriously did so much for me and connected a lot of dots in my head that I should connect with a dr to get 'tested'. idk if any of this makes proper sense. I did want to ask though if you know what that urge / compulsion is called or if u know of anywhere I can read up about it?! thanks so much (pt 2).

Super sorry this has been sitting in my inbox for so long!  I’m glad my post was so relatable!  I felt the same way until I read others talking about it vaguely and I was like...hEY!  I don’t know what that urge/compulsion is called, but I really wish I knew!  I haven’t come across any documents/research about this specifically, BUT I have read some articles about diagnosing autism that alluded to it.  It’s typically coded as “repetitive behaviors” which for me, means that I touch the side of each finger with my thumb at the same spot over and over again, or do things 8 times.  I don’t have the energy to look more at the DSM rn to find the specific language that it uses when describing essentially what the autistic community refers to as stimming, but that is generally what the DSM is referring to in various ways in that section of the criteria.

I’m going to discuss some stuff here just in case others want to know more/can relate!

On the show Atypical, the character does some things 3 times and it’s never mentioned that he has OCD, just autism, so it seems as though there is fairly wide recognition of having a compulsion to do something X amount of times. When I first watched the show I had an amazing moment of “I do that too!” because I never saw it before outside the context of OCD. After doing whatever fidget/stim thing I do with my right hand, I feel like things are super uneven and desperately need to do it on my left hand.  My brain is just like “gotta do it” and there’s no reason for it.  This got very bad when I was 12-14, which just so happened to be when I was under the most stress; I had just started going to school, I was fairly socially outcast, I realized I was transgender, I came out to my mom and I wasn’t allowed to start my transition, and I was severely depressed.  When I was 14 I started transitioning, changed schools, was super stressed about suddenly having friends and wanting to keep them, and I actually started medication for depression and OCD (which did NOT work and made everything worse and scared my mom into stopping all medication). Anyways, soon after that I started research autism, started college, got my drivers license and had a lot more freedom, fully transitioned, and got diagnosed with autism as well. Learning about sitmming and being under so much less stress allowed me to...not be as stressed lol. 

One of the ways OCD was explained to me (as in, me at 13 telling my therapist I have OCD and him telling me I don’t until I explained how distressing it is I have to do things 8 times), was that you feel like you have to do a specific ritual otherwise something bad will happen. Like there is an actual consequence you can explain.  He asked me what I was scared of happening if I didn’t touch my fingers 8 times and I didn’t have an answer.  For a random example, you need to flick your light switch on and off before leaving it on to scare away a monster under your bed otherwise it might attack you. Or, you’re scared your family is going to die and your brain tells you that if you do a specific ritual they will be safe.

Stimming is more like “this feels good and I will continue to do it until I am satisfied.”  This can be very confusing when it feels compulsory, but I noticed that it only feels compulsory when I actually need to stim and prevent a meltdown/shutdown/in sensory overload. Once I started using stim toys, carrying a tangle around, using a necklace of fidget rings, and being aware I’m autistic and need to stim, my “OCD” started going away.  Still got plenty of social anxiety, but the daily struggles I thought were due to OCD got so so so much better.

I’d just like to note, the main posts I’ve seen talking about needing to do things until it “feels right” or organizing things in a particular way that doesn’t make explainable sense but more until it “looks right” have all been about ADHD. ADHD and autism are so close, I don’t mean to mislead anyone to think about this OCD/stim compulsion whatever this is, is an exclusive autism thing. I was able to identify this as an “autism thing” by looking at the DSM criteria and interpreting the traits related to stimming and finding them directly corresponding with my “OCD” symptoms. But, the “feels right” aspect I have identified as an “ADHD thing” by reading posts made by others with ADHD talking about the same feeling.  So, I’m guessing this is a neurodivergent thing in general that some people experience! Probably more commonly found in autistic people, but I wouldn’t say it’s only an autistic thing.

Feel free to comment if you can relate to this! Or have any more information/want to share your experience!

[cryptid-anarchist]

tagged by @gentle-odds, ill be honest i dont feel like coming up with my own questions to tag people. 

1)    What is your “type” of character?

Annoying smug little shits. I love them. Especially if they have some kind of animal like quirk, or if their mannerisms just remind me of something like a weasel or cat. Hans Humpty from Rokka no Yuusha fits that profile amazingly.

2)    What RPG class and weapon would you want to play as? 

Rogue, and I like to dual wield daggers in games that let me. This is quite opposite of my real life physical capabilities, I’m good with bats and small knives, and just taking hits because of a high pain tolerance. But in games I like sneaking around and picking off enemies.

3)    Favorite Weather?

Gently snowing. Heavy enough to blanket the ground, but not blizzarding in a way that makes me not want to leave the house.

4)    What’s something you want in/ to put in your “dream room”? 

A reptile room. A dream room with a dedicated function for me would have hognose snakes in beautiful enclosures to look like a zoo, and I would be financially stable enough to give them the best care I can.

5)    Ideal clothes style

Ideally I would dress in cute dresses in pastel colors some days, and other days I would be in comfortable yet still fashionable blouse and pants. But I cant do that because money and autism, its hard for me to find cute outfits that don’t feel bad 

 6)    What would you call your Animal Crossing Town (Regardless if you have one, if you named one rn) 

Honestly I never put thought into naming my towns? Probably whatever I think sounds cool at the time, only to regret it later. Huskington.

7)    Rabbits? :3c 

Bunnies! I actually really like Tan rabbits, and I think Flemish Giant rabbits are hilarious and I want one. We used to have rabbits actually, but I was too little to take over care for them when my sister when off to the navy so we had to give them away. 

8)    A meme you loved and adored. 

Oh jeez, memes come and go so fast nowadays I cant really remember. It was pre “here comes dat boi”, I think. I would have to say Surprised Patrick

9)    Breakfast, Lunch, or Dinner? 

Lunch. Not a fan of breakfast foods, and lunch has less of a “structure” than dinner so I can eat whatever I want lol

10)  Something you’re really proud of 

I can learn quickly, and learn in depth. I have become one of my OC’s in a way that I am becoming a jack of all trades, and a master of nothing. While Im not the best at anything I do or know about, I’m proud of the amount of skills and knowledge I have.

11)  (if you have ocs) Give me one of your fav oc facts ;3c 

I’m gonna assume the fact of having an OC who is a jack of all trades does not count lmao. But my (current) icon and username is my “cringey” OC from when I was 12, I have reworked her but her concept is the same. Deidara Koroski, scientific experiment who escaped and I shaped her story from then on my emotional experiences growing up. Also, she is my jack of all trades, but she is better at the things than I am.

[comfortmarvelimagines]

4, 5, 9, 11, 13, 16, 18, 23, 29, 49, 43, 50, 51, 53, 57, 58, 72, 93. sorry i know it’s a lot but i’m super indecisive

holy shit thank you !!! i kinda want a distraction rn so this is perfect 

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

going off what they said to my mum at parent-teacher interviews, i was disobedient (i’d finish my work quickly, go back to reading my book, and then refuse to do any additional work), too loud (i had no idea how to regulate my voice volume), and had no social skills (this actually happened. what was supposed to be a 10 minute conference turned into half an hour of the teacher telling my parents how behind i was, and my dad yelled at me for it when he got home bc ‘how i act reflects on him’. i was 10 years old). 

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

i don’t drink soda bc i don’t like the bubbles + sweetness, but when i drink water n occasionally juice i like glass cups. i reuse old candle jars as cups so they’re thick and i like when theyre cooler than plastic 

9. favorite smell in the summer?

fruit !!!! i love mangoes and bananas and nectarines and passionfruit and when im cutting them up in the morning and i smell them OOFT i am a happey. my friend got me a fruit candle so i can smell it whenever i want now ! 

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?

realistically, nothing. my routine this year is WHACK and its different on different days and apparently, according to my brain, if there’s no time for it on one day then there’s time for it on 0 days. throw in the fact that im still trying to recover from my ED and its a fun mess. that being said, this morning i made myself eat; i had banana, blueberries, strawberries, a blueberry bagel with peanut butter and some coffee (and maybe it was the only thing i ate today besides some veggies for dinner but it was before 10am hence breakfast)

13. lanyard or key ring? 

lanyard. my keys are on a smashCon lanyard from last year, with a bunch of pins bc my pins kept falling off my bag 

16. most comfortable position to sit in?

cross legged (except its more like a lotus pose, im way too hypermobile). idk if its a sensory/autism thing, but i absolutely cannot sit with my legs flat on the floor, and  i dont really like chairs at all. i like my desk chair though bc its kind of like a bucket seat, and i chose it specifically bc its a perfect size for me to cross my legs comfortably and be able to work at my desk 

18. ideal weather?

sunny, but not too sunny. slight warm breeze. not so bright that there’s glare. around 21-25 degrees celsius. 

23. strange habits?

dude. i’m autistic w a bunch of other mental health and just a fucken weird personality. i got strange habits from the second i wake up to the second i go to bed 

29. best way to bond with you?

accept me as i am. understand that there are some things i do differently, especially in regards to communicating. be patient and try to learn how i connect. i promise i’m trying to meet you on your level, but you gotta meet me on mine, or else you’re gonna get the facade i put up so people will tolerate me 

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?

HOODIE. i love having things on my head, so when im overwhelmed, hoodies are my substitute blanket. i’m also really picky when it comes to materials and i especially dont like anything too stiff, but i did recently buy a denim jacket that’s pretty soft so i’m trying to get used to that

49. what saying or quote do you live by?

i don’t really have one?  

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

probably something dumb that my dog’s done. he does dumb shit all the time. for example: yesterday, he was licking things when he thought i wasn’t looking (he doesn’t understand the concept of peripheral vision its p funny). i told him not to lick my brother’s guitar, which is just hanging on the wall bc he doesn’t actually play it, and its covered in dust. leon licked the guitar, and then acted all indignant that he got a mouthful of dust and stood by his waterbowl until i turned on the tap, bc apparently bowl water isn’t good enough for my princess of a dog. this is super off track but basically, my dog is really silly and he makes me laugh and i love him a LOt 

51. current stresses?

uni, the fact that i’m currently exhausted and burnout from my jobs and volunteering and study, the fact that im super isolated socially, i feel like im not good enough for my course and i dont deserve a place in it, and the fact that my mum wants me to go to the dentist but dentists are absolute hell for me and i just. cant deal w that right now  

53. what is the current state of your hands?

really short nails, and callouses on my four left fingers from strings (the short nails are also bc i scratch myself). the fingers on my left hand are stronger than my right, and i have three crooked fingers from when i broke them in separate incidents in HS. i have indents from bite marks on my left hand. my hands are super cold, not just bc its winter but they always seem to run colder than everyone else. they’re also really dry, a combination of winter and the fact that the packaging that my work uses in stock boxes makes them dry ? its really weird + also bad stim 

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

hhhhhhhi wouldn’t say i’ve fully ‘overcome’ all of these but 1. making it through high school and living to be an adult- i’d always assumed i’d be dead by 16. i spent most of high school suicidal and without appropriate help. 2. performance anxiety. this sounds dumb, but mastering this has allowed me to pursue the degree i always thought was a pipe dream, an impossibility. i’m in a place now where i’m doing what i want, something i care about, and i actually don’t regret waking up every morning because of it. 3. managing to navigate things like the crowded city, buses, work and classrooms every day. i’m a massively sensory avoidant person. post high school, i literally didn’t physically leave the house from a combination of depression but also not wanting to deal with overstim when it wasn’t strictly necessary. on one hand, i know im pushing myself a bit, esp when i get physically sick from being constantly overstim with no breaks during the week, but i’m also proud of myself for trying to manage these things now instead of doing everything in my power to avoid them 

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

i’m good at looking after my dog, and loving my dog (and he loves me back so a talent worth having. i think im good with most dogs but ESPECIALLY my dog). i’m creative; i’m a musician, i’m a visual artist, i write, i’m constantly coming up with things. my brain is good at finding connections and memorising content just by understanding. i dont really think i have anything else 

72. worst subject?

MATHS. my hs made me take it all the way to year 12 and i absolutely fucken failed it (im not kidding in year 10 my highest mark on a test was 38% and it really didn’t improve from there) 

93. nicknames?

charles, and basically any way you can wrongly pronounce my name (e.g, chorlie)